So, National Rifle Association Executive VP Wayne LaPierre called yesterday to chat. His knickers are all in a knot. Turns out various countries are planning to talk about (wait for it) a treaty on the international exchange of conventional weapons. Outrageous, right? Like Wayne-baby said to me, foreign countries are-a-coming to U.S sovereign soil near you to swipe your S & W from your cold, dead…well, you know the rest. I was so impressed by his blatantly deceptive rhetoric that I almost donated to the NRA, like he really wanted me to, just to encourage the poor sot. He seemed so scared!
Or was it that he seemed scary? After all, a treaty is just a, well, treaty. It has to pass the senate, it has to comply with our constitution, neither of which seem to have prevented our country from being totally awash in weaponry. So why would Wayne-baby be so darned upset? Even when it seems like the NRA has bought enough of the Senate already to prevent passage of such a treaty, and since what is imminent is not, in fact, a treaty, but, simply, a global conversation.
Wait! Is that it!? Is it that Baby-Wayne, I mean Wayne-baby, doesn’t want us to talk? Doesn’t want us to get to know our global neighbors and learn something about how they regulate conventional weapons? After all, we’re not the worst in the world, right? There are, after all, four other countries who have more deaths by firearms than the U.S. Four. Globally. In the whole world. Guatemala. Thailand, Columbia, and South Africa. So, we’re in a position of leadership, of the worst five.
Or, or, or could it be that he just wants money! No!! That would be too simple, too craven, to dastardly. Right? Wayne-baby wouldn’t be exploiting an issue, exploiting vulnerable people, exploiting me, by claiming a treaty that does not exist is going to take away my rights, would he? A treaty that appears to have little chance of passing the Senate anyway. A treaty that would in fact have no impact on gun ownership in the U.S. (thank God!)? Just to line his pockets? Not possible! Inconceivable! Don’t talk that way!!
No, let’s do as Wayne-baby says. Send him money and don’t talk about why we kill more of our fellow Americans than almost an other country’s citizens kill their fellow citizens. So we don’t get to know our global neighbors and discover we could learn a thing or two. So we don’t learn that the world is not such a scary place after all. That maybe sleeping with my S & W under my pillow actually makes me and my family and my world less safe.
Let’s stay scared. Stay afraid. Withdraw. Stock-up. Be well armed. And listen only to the scary people. Like Wayne-baby.
List of countries by firearm-related death rate
International Gun Ban Treaty?
NRA’s position on the Arms Trade Treaty
Strangely, after a long search, I could find nothing on the NRA web site on this. Can they not stand behind their robo-calls?